


Forgotten

by wheretobe



Category: Killing Eve (TV 2018)
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/F, Memory Loss, Overboard
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-09
Updated: 2020-08-14
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:34:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 16,609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24098149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wheretobe/pseuds/wheretobe
Summary: Ever seen the Goldie Hawn Movie Overboard?Then you know what is going on here.
Relationships: Eve Polastri/Villanelle | Oksana Astankova
Comments: 91
Kudos: 204





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Ever seen the Goldie Hawn Movie Overboard?  
> Then you know what is going on here.

The way Konstantin looked at her left no discussion as to how serious he was being. His eyes were annoyed, cheeks red with anger and he was pacing.

“I asked you one simple thing. To stay hidden until I have figured out something. No more running through Berlin, Villanelle! Just finish tomorrow's job and we should be able to leave and get some breathing space between us and them.”

She rolled her eyes and was about to make a stupid quib when she saw Konstantin rub his eyes tiredly. 

“Stop being such a baby, Konsti.”

“No you stop! We can not be seen here! The important thing is to make them think it was someone else. We only have this try and while you are making fun of this and treating this like a holiday, I am trying to somehow get our necks out of the slings! Stay in the room, be at the meeting spot tomorrow at the right time and don't let yourself be seen!”

The Hotel room door slammed and she frowned before sighing deeply. Konstantin was stressed and had a flair for the dramatic. Surely he did not really mean not to go out at all! For long moments she sat, frowning at the door before her nature made her pace the room. She spared some moments to the files Konstantin had given her, checking if she had things memorized properly before boredom took over once more. 

It was not even a full hour after her ex handler had left, that Villanelle found herself slipping out of the hotel, following the memoized map inside of her head to a club she had found online. A bit of partying was never a big deal and people generally were too tipsy or drunk to remember much anyways so, Villanelle reckoned, she was more than safe.

As she walked past the line at the entry, nodding to the burly turkish looking security guard with a knowing nod, she was let in without second thought. Villanelle had learned early on that an aura of importance and power would lure anyone into believing you belonged. The second part was the way you dressed and she was dressed perfectly as always.

Inside the music was pumping, packed to the brim. The old industrial complex with it’s high ceilings was lit darkly. Quickly, she scanned for the next Bar and pushed into an open spot, not caring about the glares as she ordered a gin tonic, smiling at the bartender sickly sweet while someone jabbed their elbow into her hip and she swore she might just kill them.   
A sip later, that insistent elbow did not give up and she turned to glare at whoever dared.

“Oh finally noticed? Thanks for jumping the line.”

There surely was a dick muttered under the woman's breath but Villanelle felt forgiving, especially since the woman looked breathtaking.   
From anger and annoyed her face shifted to apologetic.

“I am so sorry! Oh my god! I was so rude!”

The woman had an american lilt to her pronunciation so Villanelle switched hers to fit. She watched the woman try to get a Bartender to take her order, clearly with not much success, so Villanelle grabbed the hand waving, leaning over the bar herself and finally alerting someone.

“Entschuldigung! Sorry! Wait what do you want?”

The Korean stared at her, nonplussed at how easily someone had noticed the presence of the blonde and immediately came over, while she had stood there waving like an idiot for forever.

“I...gin and tonic…”

“Einen Gin und Tonic, bitte!”  
[one gin and tonic, please]

A glass was soon placed in front of them and she paid.

“Thanks no...I am paying…”

The woman spluttered and Villanelle laughed prettily.

“No, I jumped the line. I owe you. Name’s Sasha by the way.”

Holding out her hand she felt as if a jolt went through her when the raven haired beauty took her hand and shook.

“Eve.”

Her whole being screamed the name as she felt herself pulled into a spiral of want and Villanelle promised herself she would not leave that club without the stranger in tow.

**

When Eve woke the next morning, if it still was, her cell was ringing angrily and she needed long moments to find it in herself to move towards it on the nightstand.  
Groaning as her body stretched, then realizing she was naked and remembering how she had allowed a stranger back to her hotel room, Eve blushed hard. Her eyes scanned the room, finding no trace, blushing fiercely. She had really gone home with a woman and by what she remembered of their trysts, she had never come that hard her entire damn life. And she had come a few times the past night.   
A groan and she finally grabbed the phone, finding Bill's messages and deciding she would answer after showering and some coffee. She had not had much to drink thankfully so at least she did not have a hangover. And how much she would hate herself had she not been able to remember the way Sasha had taken her on several of the rooms surfaces. A schoolgirl giggle, hiding her face under the covers that still smelled of sex. The girl had vanished some time in the morning, Eve vaguely remembered the last kiss dropped to her lips. On her night table she found a note.

_Thank you, Baby ___

__Was written in a scrawling, round script._ _

__Since her divorce she had not looked for anything, feeling mopey about the whole thing and also pissed that her ex had found someone else so soon. Last night she had not looked either but Sasha had come on strong and for some reason she had simply allowed it. For once in her life she had done something without calculating risks and god had it been good._ _

__The realisation that she had had sex with another woman wasnt evenm shocking because it had been that eye opening. After a quick shower, Eve started packing. Her little meeting in Berlin had gone well, a conference more like but Bill had said she needed to get out of London for a while. How right he was. Maybe things would change from now on. Maybe there were more shores to look now to find someone for herself._ _

__A pang of sadness as she realized she would never see Sasha again, the gratefulness for having had this night._ _

__**_ _

__“I was promised the weekend off Bill! I just returned from Berlin and I need a weekend.”_ _

__Eve exclaimed as she followed Bill through the MI5 Building, her friend walking at a brisk pace._ _

__

__“I was just as surprised at the call Eve but I am sure you wont make Carolyn Martens wait.”_ _

__She huffed. Eve felt wrought out, having wanted to sleep in, took her few days off to search for a better apartment so she could finally ditrch the divorce apartment that was quite frankly a dump.  
Bill was right though, no one made Martens wait. _ _

__Once she entered the office of her supervisor, instead of him she found Carolyn at his desk, looking like...like she was bored._ _

__“Mrs Polastri.”_ _

__“Park…”_ _

__“Excuse me?”_ _

__

__“I...am divorced. My name is Park.”_ _

__No sign of emotion nor acknowledgement. Marten's eyes went to Bill._ _

__“Excuse us, please.”_ _

__He followed the order swiftly and suddenly Eve wondered what the fuck she was doing here.  
Marten's face was a stony facade that gave nothing away and Eve felt small all of a sudden. Like a kid being called to the headmistress office._ _

__“You were in Berlin last week at a conference for forensic psychologists?”_ _

__

__“Yes Ma’am.”_ _

__A folder was opened, pages flipped and Eve frowned. Her report on it was due in two weeks not now. Martens grabbed something and pushed it towards her on the table._ _

__“Do you recognize where this image was taken?”_ _

__Something inside of her dropped as she grabbed the pixelated black and white security camera picture._ _

__It was her and Sasha in a Hotel elevator. She blushed and tried to stay calm. There was nothing wrong with having sex like any other grown up._ _

__“Yes Ma’am. The Hotel elevator.”_ _

__She whispered slightly ashamed._ _

__More pictures followed and Eve had the grace to blush as she saw images of herself being pressed into the wall in a hallway, Sasha’s tongue down her throat and hand on her tit._ _

__“Mrs. Martens...what is this about? I am sure it is not forbidden to have sex with another consenting Adult?”_ _

__

__She knew something was up, felt sick to her stomach as she tried to make out what the hell was going on. Her mind was racing as she tried to gauge any emotion from the older woman which she could work with._ _

__Another picture was procured. This time a shot of her one night stand in what seemed like younger years._ _

__“Is that your consenting adult?”_ _

__

__Oh god she hoped suddenly that the girl had been of age. She surely would have noticed right? Would she? God was this about sleeping with a minor?_ _

__“Mrs Park….”_ _

__Martens was getting annoyed with her and Eve jolted out of her inner process._ _

__“I swear to god, I thought she was old enough! Her name was Sasha...I met her at a club.”_ _

__A delicate eyebrow rose and cold eyes stared at her._ _

__“This is Oksana Astankova. Let's say she is an international sort of troublemaker. Which you could not have known of course. Alas your little...tryst...plays into our hands, Mrs Park. Mrs Astankova has found herself in a bit of trouble, now we need an agent of ours with her, to keep her low profile and hidden for a while. Until...the situation is a bit more favourable.”_ _

__Eve’s mind was truly blank and she knew she showed it by the way Martens stared back at her. So her little one night stand was someone else entirely? She had been duped by the girl and apparently she was some sort of criminal._ _

__“I…don’t think I have proper training…”_ _

__“I don’t think there is much decision making on your part to be honest, Eve. You will find your job with MI5 has been terminated. Lucky you though, I have a job to offer with MI6.”_ _

__She had blanched as she realized she had been fired and rehired for Martens just like that. That her sleeping with this woman had apparently cemented her losing her job and being offered one by, what she had thought to be made up, secret division of british secret services._ _

__A stupid nod later, clutching her bag on her lap knowing she was given no choice and suddenly regretting letting herself fall into bed with a stranger. Shit even one night stands went to hell for her._ _

__**_ _

__

__“You truly think this can work? An untrained MI5 desk jockey hiding Villanelle?”_ _

__Konstantin watched his charge through the med bay window, watching as she was checked over by a nurse, a large bruise on her head and face. Next to him Carolyn was typing something on her smartphone._ _

__He was caught between anger for Oksana not doing as he had asked her and worry._ _

__“You asked ME for help, Konstantin. Now let me help. Right now she is believed to be dead, hopefully for much longer. We are setting them up far away in the middle of nowhere in the lake district. Eve is being briefed right now. The village will be filled with our agents and your charge will be none the wiser.”_ _

__He frowned._ _

__Their last mission had gone to shits and Oksana had almost died in the process. He had to act fast and reached out to their old friend, offering themselves up if she hid them. He had not even thjought of the possibility that Oksana would face worse troubles than a head wound and broken arm and ribs._ _

__“Have your doctors said anything about her….mental state?”_ _

__“Amnesia, from the bump on her head and swelling in her brain. If we are lucky, a long form. Thus why we need to make sure nothing triggers any kind of memory. As you well know she is not someone reliable when told not to do something. Her remembering could jeopardize our groundwork.”_ _

__“So why get someone she had had sex with the night previous?”_ _

__

__It had been such an odd coincidence when Carolyn had presented him with her Agent Park, who out of sheer luck had met Oksana in Berlin, had even slept with her._ _

__“Because the story of being married to Eve will certainly need a bit of memory of having been with her. It should play into our hand that they do have familiarity. Eve is being briefed right now. Oksana will be woken by tomorrow night, by then everything is prepped and ready.”_ _

__The lengths Mi6 went to for them was astounding. But he knew he had lots to offer and involving another side was the only way to survive. With Oksana being presumed dead they would concentrate on him maybe._ _

__“You concentrate on collecting the information Mi6 wants in exchange. And Konstantin...remember that you lack the protection of your murderous little friend yes?”_ _

__A warning he was taking all too seriously._ _

__Once more glance through the window, wondering what they had gotten themselves into and if it had been the right choice to contact carolyn. Then again, there had been nothing else he could have done._ _

__**_ _

__“It’s a lot of Info...but you need to know this by heart.”_ _

__She was slumped on the couch in the Mi6 office, staring at the blotchy ceiling. The water spot on it with brownish boundaries. Certainly the smell could be explained with this._ _

__“I am trying. It’s not like I am trained for this. Tell me about her past again.”_ _

__The young man across nodded and pulled the info, reading it to her._ _

__She had been brought straight to this place after handing in her apartment keys and being told she would be provided with all her belongings in the safe house. More like a safe village. Kenny and his team would be living there too making sure all seemed normal._ _

__“Her name is Oksana Park-Antonov, she was born in ex Leningrad. You guys met in Berlin when you were at a conference and she was working in a designer store. You hit it off straight away and married a year later. She grew up mostly in russian orphanages but due to her good looks and proficiency in languages she easily found work and moved to central europe as soon as she could. She has not revealed much of her past to you always citing it was not much to tell. You will tell her you dropped it after asking a few times if she wants to know more.”_ _

__Eve marveled at how easily all these stories had appeared. The files even contained little moments that only couples would know off so she would seem convincing and suddenly she was married to a woman she had one night stand with. Her mind was in a constant funk as she tried to memorize all the info crashing onto her, while she also tried to reconcile herself with the fact that she was suddenly pulled into a top secret mission._ _

__“Will you tell me who she really is?”_ _

__Kenny shrugged._ _

__“I wish I knew. It's more than hush hush and the boss is tightlipped about her, so it must be important. Now there will be a panic button in your house. We are going there tonight and tomorrow we will run you through the house security and more things you need to memorise. Right now we are setting up a second office close to the safe house.”_ _

__Eve rubbed her face tiredly as she watched Kenny fake pictures of them from pictures that had been taken from her photo albums. Niko was deleted and pictures of oksana edited in. He said something about deep fake technology, about having mapped her face in the hospital, even her eyes. In any other situation she would be amazed by all of this. She had always dreamed of being a real agent instead of a boring pencil pusher. But now that Eve found herself caught up in this, she thought she really did not like the prospect of lying about everything and anything._ _

__The next hours passed in a blur as she found herself going through the house with Kenny as he explained the security features, again wondering why such an operation was needed. No one told her anything though reminding her all that mattered was keeping the girl hidden for now. She was just there to make sure Oksana did not find anything that triggered a real memory. Her job was making sure to fill the other woman with fake memories for as long as MI6 needed. Which was odd indeed and she had never heard agents trying to hide the important memory of another agent, especially a russian seeming one._ _

__There was not much time to think though, as Eve tried to wrap her mind around who she was now. By evening she was driven to the Hospital they held the young woman in and Eve watched as the MI6 Dr’s worked around her. As soon as eyelids flittered, the medication slowing waking her from the medically induced coma, Eve was pushed inside and told to remember her stories, Martens telling her to better not fuck things up._ _

__With a strong feeling of anxiety Eve went to the bedside of the blonde woman, grasping a long fingered hand and waiting a feeling of recognition inside of her as hazel eyes landed on her like they had in the club in Berlin. First there was pain, then confusion, worry, panic._ _

__Her thumb softly stroked over the back of the woman's hand. That enigma that had turned her life upside down twice in a few nights._ _

__“Hey...I was worried you wouldn’t wake.”_ _

__Eve whispered softly, trying to be soothing as the girl's eyes drank her in._ _

__“Wha...where…”_ _

__She saw a mind scramble to get any kind of memory, saw when the girl in the bed realized no matter how hard she thought, there was nothing. No time, place, no name. No memory of who she was. She floundered and Eve tried to play her part._ _

__“O,...are you okay? I’ll get you a Dr. okay?”_ _

__Tears spilled and breathing heaved before the blonde realized breathing was painful. As if on cue the Dr. came back in with a nurse and Eve sent out as Oksana was looked over , crying in her bed as she found no answers to the Dr.s questions. Minutes later Eve went back in sheepish._ _

__“Your...Doctor said...you don’t...they said you have Amnesia.”_ _

__Confused eyes took her in, up and down they went on her, the scrutiny making Eve feel strange. Would Oksana even believe the story? What if she realized straight away something was off?_ _

__“Who are you?”_ _

__She slumped in what would look like defeat but was actually some of the anxiety draining out of Eve._ _

__“I...we are...I am your wife.”_ _

__“Oh…”_ _

__

__‘Well gee...thanks even with memory loss you know I am not a catch or what?’  
Eve thought and frowned at herself_ _


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the update wait super busy in reallife lately!

Hands fidgeted as Eve went through the house checking if all was in place. The first meeting in the hospital had gone as well as could be expected but as soon as she took her now wife home, Eve had to know the place inside out or the girl, Oksana, would never believe that they had been living here for a while.

The teams hung some pictures and each had a story she needed to know. Her mind was racing through tons of info just walking to the kitchen. She could not show being nervous but she felt sick to the stomach. 

Who was so important to MI6, that the service went through such trouble of hiding them and making sure their memory stayed foggy? And why on earth did she always have this kind of bad luck?

“Hey, we are done with some last pictures, there is a bag with Oksana’s clothing that needs to be put into the drawers. You... don't look too hot.”

Her brows knit as she took in the young man standing in her kitchen, sipping a water while typing on his pc.

“Thanks Kenny...how sweet of you.”

A shrug and then he glanced at the place.

“We are done here. Remember no cameras, no microphones. I’ll take you to our new base of operations to show you your new office space for the time being.”

An office a bit out of town where operations would be based and Eve would pretend to work at. First she would stay home with Oksana for a bit, making sure she was healing well. If she seemed to play along to the whole spiel well, Eve would go back to work a few hours at the time.

“How was your meeting with Konstantin?”

“I don't think he knows a lot of personal things about her.”

He had been supposed to tell her some likes and dislikes she could use but besides: she likes to cook, she is bad at baking and likes national anthems it seemed like there was not much he could reveal. He knew things, they were just nothing she was supposed to know. 

**

She carefully entered the hospital room, mindful of Oksana maybe sleeping. Eve’s hands were clammy and her nerves were acting up, so she steeled herself with a deep breath before rounding the corner and getting into line of sight of the hospital bed. 

Oksana was awake, flipping through a magazine she had been given.

“Hey.”

Hazel eyes flit up to hers, looking her over and searching for a memory to grasp on. Eve felt pity.

“I brought you some of your pajamas and clothes and a few books.Though the Dr. says, he is confident you won't have to stay too much longer.”

The best way to paint over her nervousness was to just busy herself. So Eve put away the clothing, placed the books on a night table, checked if Oksana still had water. It felt way too personal, it felt like that one time Niko had a concussion and she had visited him in hospital. Eve almost scoffed, realizing this was exactly what she was supposed to behave like.

All the while she felt questioning eyes on herself, watching like a hawk as she went about.

“I am sorry, Oksana. “

Eve said, feeling under scrutiny. 

“What for?”

Sasha’s voice had been commanding, strong and with an american lilt. Oksana’s voice was deep, with a russian accent and a bit unsure but still very level.

“Being all over the place. I was so relieved when they told me you survived the crash and then...to find out about your memory loss.”

If she really had had a car crash, Eve did not know but there was even fake newspaper blurbs about the young woman trying to avoid a fox on the road and flipping her car a few times.

"I feel lost."

The younger woman said and closed the magazine. 

"I can imagine. I want to help but…" 

Her arms made an unsure motion as if saying: this all. 

"What can I do, O?" 

"The Dr. said it would come back to me. That i just need some time. I just don’t know where to start.”

Eve understood and felt something rotten inside of her. Here this woman sat and she was supposed to not help but actively stop memories. For however long possible.

“It will come to you, O. Just don't pressure yourself.”

“Why do you call me O?”

Well that was something she could easily make up she reckoned.

“It always felt kind of wrong to call you baby. We have an age gap and, well in the beginning people did joke about it.”

Interest was sparked in Hazel eyes and Eve could see a mind work to get anything from what she had said. But soon a sigh indicated there was nothing and Eve squeezed the hand on the hospital bed.

“I need you to take it easy so I can get you out of here soon ok?”

**

“So...welcome home!”

Eve said softly as they stepped into the house, Oksana’s eyes traveling over the place. They had made sure Konstantin told them what she would like so it would seem more comfortable. 

“Here let me…”

Eve said, taking the jacket and letting Oksana just walk about.

The young woman slowly entered, looking about before she stopped in the living room. Behind the couch that was pushed against a wall was a photo wall. Her eyes rank in the pictures and Eve felt like shit as she saw the women drink in false memories.

She busied herself by making tea, hands shaking slightly as nervousness ran through Eve. It was easy playing her role in the Hospital because she was only there for some hours before returning home and out of her role. Her mind was always on the things she needed to remember.

She watched the Blonde stare at their pictures on the wall.

“Bedroom and master bathroom are upstairs. I have a little office downstairs and a small bathroom. We have a lovely garden.”

She was rambling, she feared as Oksana took in the pillow and blanket on the couch.

“I’ll sleep down here...since ...well.”

How on earth did she play the coy and insecure wife so well?

“Oh, yes. Of course…”

Oksana muttered looking lost.

“Now...you were the cook between the two of us and I thought I should not try to cook and make it worse for you so I got us some oven Pizzas for tonight.”

Eve looked apologetic. It was true though, her food was horrible and she did not want to embarrass herself like this.

“It’s fine. Not really hungry…”

Even though the situation was odd, she felt for the blonde looking lost in this home. Eve also felt guilt but kept telling herself it was for her country, she did something good. Right?

Turning on the oven she quickly put the pizzas in and set the timer before walking up to Oksana who was still looking at their home.

“When was that?”

She craned her neck to look past the girl and found a picture that was supposed to depict them on a ski vacation.

“Last winter. You finally got me to go skiing. I wobbled like a giraffe on ice and gave up after falling a few times too many. You were a natural though. But i think you told me the spa and Apres ski was even more to your liking.”

A frown knit perfect brows.

“It’ll all come back. Come on, I’ll show you upstairs.”

The house wasn't large, perfect really for two people so the tour was rather short cut. They decided to have dinner on the back porch as the weather was nice out.  
Oksana was mostly silent and Eve did not pester her even when she said she would head straight to bed.

After Eve was sure the young woman had retired she went to her office and switched on the secure Laptop remote session, updating the team on what had happened. She had never done such undercover work and felt like she was out of her element, not even daring to think of what kind of person Oksana was that needed to be hidden away like this.

**

The first week passed without a hitch, but also of course without her young charge regaining her memory. The woman grew more and more antsy and frustrated and Eve calmed her saying she would hopefully find help with the psychologist they had gotten her. What Oksana did not know, was that the Shrink was from MI6 and not tasked to be helpful with memories at all.

“I HATE HIM! I am not going back!”

Eve followed hot on the venting Oksana’s heels, kind of surprised by the sudden petulant mood in the younger woman. She had struggled the last days with her mood swings and Eve had quickly seen that Oksana had mood outbursts she simply let out, while other people would hold back.

“Oksana...it's your first session with him. Look, give him a chance and if it really does not...Oksana!”

The door to the house slammed before she could enter and Eve sighed, staring at the barrier, nonplussed and slightly shocked. Seconds later the door was opened again and Oksana looked horrified herself.

“I’m sorry Eve…”

“It’s okay. Let's just get in and calm down.”

She would talk to the shrink herself about the way Oksana handled emotions and wanting to know if he could relay anything from their session.  
All of a sudden the mood swung from angry and annoyed to apologetic, Oksana almost shaking with all of her emotions and Eve tried to stay calm and collected herself, as she did not want to make the outburst worse. 

“Go put on water for tea and I’ll put our jackets away.”

After a week they had a bit of a routine going and Oksana, challenged by having been told she had been the cook, had started making them breakfast after Eve’s watery scrambled eggs. It came back to her naturally how to cook and 3 days in, Eve drove them to Tesco’s to get all the ingredients Oksana wanted, enjoying the glee with which the girl shopped before telling herself she needed to try to keep a bit more emotional distance. Which was hard because she had not been trained for this job and she felt for her charge.

“Eve! Which tea?”

“Earl grey, O.”

It seemed so easy and Eve reminded herself that it was not.

“Shit!”

A clang and more cursing from the kitchen and Eve ran back from her office, finding Oksana had dropped the kettle, left arm still in a cast due to her break. Eve saw the angry red skin on bare feet wanting to drop a comment about having told her to wear slippers inside, which Oksana refused because she thought crocs were disgusting, but before she could say something, Oksana went rigid, head thrown back and yelling and anger and frustration, her whole body stiff. Eve stared before instinct took over and she pulled Oksana from the mess, arms going around her as she exploded.

She was left breathing harshly, eyes filled with fury and the burning of her skin not registering as Eve tried to get ice from the freezer once Oksana had stopped her yelling.

It was half an hour later that a dejected Oksana sat on the couch,refusing to talk and Eve sitting across from her on the couch table, burned foot in her lap and holding the wrapped up cooling pack onto the skin.

“Can we talk about your emotions today?”

“No!”

Her head cocked as she looked at the blonde who had her arms crossed over her chest.

“I want you to go a few more times to this therapist. If it doesn't work out we’ll find someone new.”

“He’s an idiot and he didn't help.”

“O, it's your first session…”

“You don’t understand!”

No of course she did not, Eve still had her memories.

“You are right. I don’t. I can only do so much to help and it’s the same for him.”

She lifted the ice pack and looked at the skin.

“You were lucky the water was not boiling yet. We’ll put some burn cream on and a sock so it can work it’s magic.”

When she looked up Oksana’s head was cocked as she regarded her, watching her as if trying to figure out a puzzle.

**

“She faked her way through the session.”

Eve stared down at the file, then back up at Dr. Wexley.

“You told me about the things you witnessed at home and we both know what the verdict here is. I am telling you because you need to be aware of it to maneuver it.”

As if the pompous ass really cared about confidentiality, he was working for MI6.

Psychopathy. 

It was true she had wondered what could be ailing the girl. 

“You only talked to her twice.”

“I am of course privy to old files, which you don't have the security level for.”

Eve slammed the file shut and stood nodding. There was no way she would get Oksana to go back to the guy and she knew she had to somehow break this to Carolyn.

“Thank you for your time Dr.”

Eve had no idea what to believe since clearly Oksana had shown remorse for her outbursts. Or was it simply realizing she was supposed to show remorse? Eve often caught Oksana looking at her analyzingly but she thought it was merely trying to find any memory possible.

Also Wexley had said he based the diagnosis on old files which, frankly to Eve, sounded rather like he had simply taken that diagnosis and slapped the approved stamp on it.

Basically stomping out of the office, Eve wondered why the heck she found herself so invested in her fake wives therapy sessions. Probably because she had slept with her and could not shake that memory still, even though she kept telling herself Sasha had never existed. Shit, she simply was not made for this undercover job.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, likeing and commenting!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Song: I was just thinking  
> Singer: Teitur

“I’m sorry I pulled the fire alarm…”

Oksana’s voice said from the doorway to her office and Eve pushed her glasses back up her nose and turned towards her.

“Can you tell me why?”

Eve knew why. Simply said, Oksana was bored and wanted out, had no inclination to go to another meeting with Wexley and so she had done what came to mind to get out of it. Wexley had simply shot Eve a pointed look as Oksana stood watching the mayhem with childlike glee in her hazel eyes.

Her ‘wife’ shrugged and then opened the floodgates but Eve sat unmoving, until Oksana realized it did not work, wiping her cheeks clumsily and defeated.

“You know that I am trying my best to find another Dr. close by so you can switch, because I accept and understand you dont like Wexley. But I need you to work with me here.”

A pang of deja vu hit her. Just in reversed roles and Eve swallowed thickly as she realized how many times she had heard that sentence from her husband. How often had she feigned remorse, had said sorry simply to placate Niko? Sure she had not broken the law to get out of things but she had lied and omitted just the same.

“I was also asked to reimburse for the Vase you broke deliberately in the waiting room and no, I don't care if you thought it was ugly.”

She was tired after the second week of watching this woman and there was no thinking of going to work for a few hours while Oksana was in this highly volatile state.

“Well...I don’t know why I did these things okay? I just did.”

Lack of impulse control, breaking the law, damaging things, fake remorse it was all text book. But Eve had also seen something else and that forensic psychologist in her rubbed her hands at the opportunity of learning, a case study of sorts. She had a secure diary on her laptop where she noted things down but she also had to live with this woman and had to make sure to play her part.

“Will you come watch a movie with me?”

Eve looked at the open files of her fake job on her computer, closed them and nodded. Her mind was on ways to fight Oksana’s boredom to make sure she would at least try to stay in line.

“Sure.”

As she walked up to the door, Oksana gauged her mood, shoulders slumped a bit.

“You are still angry.”

Pushing past the blonde, albeit softly, Eve shook her head no.

“Not angry, O. Stressed with everything that's going on. Not being able to help, your little stunts, trying to find ways to help.”

A hand caught hers, stopping her on her way to the living room.

“I...I am sorry that I stressed you today with what I did.”

Eve squeezed the hand and used the grasp to pull Oksana after her.

“Fine. You select a movie and I’ll make popcorn.”

It was a beginning. She believed Oksana when she apologized for causing her trouble. Not for the things she did, but there was a bit of remorse in stressing Eve. There was, due to the circumstances a bond to her and Oksana sure seemed like she did not want to sour this.  
On the last couple of days she had often moved closer to Eve on the couch, Probing Eve’s reaction and she had smiled, encouraging after all in this reality, in this little theatre play, she was the wife. So Eve kept open to the slow advances, squeezing a shoulder in passing, bumping hips in the kitchen when she helped Oksana.

It wasn’t easy for her. Her marriage had failed due to her not being able to appreciate what she had, letting herself dull to the point of feeling greyed out and glued to the spot while the world around seemed vibrant and moving. She wondered what others had, why what she had wasn't like it. And her 2 weeks with Oksana highlighted her ex husband's plight. He had loved her desperately and had not received anything in return. Eve was sad for Niko. And this time she had to act the perfect wife and make sure not to drive her ‘wife’ away. 

Remembering having sex with Oksana wasn’t helpful really. It had been a night she would probably never forget, had thought it would change so many things. In a way it had, just not the way Eve had thought. This woman had done things to her, had made her feel something she had not felt...maybe ever. Something raw. Now she giddily plopped down next to her and reached for the bowl of hot caramel popcorn so Eve could adjust herself and get under the blanket with her.

“I chose Fifth Element because it looked funny.”

**  
“So are you celebrating your birthday tonight?”

Kenny asked as Eve put on her jacket after two hours in the office. 

“No, I thought about maybe taking Oksana out...we’ll see.”

“How is she doing with the new shrink?”

Eve was relieved they had been able to send another shrink, also having asked Carolyn to allow her to take Oksana on a trip somewhere to fight the boredom the young woman faced in their rather rural home.

“Better. She is trying to control her behaviour mostly. She tripped a kid in Tesco’s yesterday, because he was making a racist sign towards me. I...feel bad for actually thinking he deserved it a bit. But other than that she’s...I think learning about herself more.”

Eve had asked Konstantin if he had ever gotten his friend or knew if she had talked to shrinks before to which he answered that he could not give her that information. So all they had was an old file from her childhood apparently when she had been diagnosed once.

Four weeks she lived with her ‘wife’ now and they had settled in a routine of sorts. Mi6 had decided she should mostly work from home to make sure their charge would not cause too much havoc. After two sessions with her new shrink, Oksana had seemed deep in thought and had used Eve’s laptop to read up on things suggested by the therapist and Eve had read about living with someone on the ASPD spectrum. 

“Hey, O! I’m home!”

Eve said loudly as she entered their place, smelling the odd smell and worrying immediately. Running steps came towards her and Oksana looked panicked, which made Eve worry even more.

“Please...don’t come into the kitchen yet…”

“Oksana…”

Hazel eyes glassed over and Oksana punched the doorjamb in anger and frustration.

“I wanted to do something nice! But it’s not good! I failed…”

And Oksana, Eve had learned, hated failure. She pushed past the girl and found a messy kitchen, bowls with batter, another with frosting, a toppled and definitely burned looking cake on the counter and Oksana standing behind her wiping tears furiously. There were birthday candles on the counter too.

“Oh…did you remember?”

And past her strode Oksana, grabbing the bowls and angrily throwing them into the sink.

“NO! I could not even remember your birthday! We got mail, some...some commercial stuff from the place you ordered something from, offering you 5% off for your birthday. I felt bad and wanted to make you a cake!”

The cake looked like it was about to slip in on itself, frosting dripping onto the worktop.

Eve smiled and simply ignored that “we got” mail was “you got” mail and I opened it.

“Don't laugh!”

“I’m not. It's so sweet you wanted to do this, O. Come here…”

She gathered the taller woman in her arms who looked so dejected and angry at her project.

“It’s horrible!”

Eve pressed a kiss against a rosy cheek and then smiled.

“It’s the thought that counts. Thank you!”

Somehow that must have been the right thing to say, because Oksana seemed happy with the answer. Her whole body language changed and then she leaned back in and Eve realized the girl had liked being held, maybe comforted even, so she kept rubbing her back softly for a few more, letting Oksana relax against her.

“Let’s clean up the kitchen and then why don't you and I go out for dinner mh?”

An enthusiastic nod and bright grin and Oksana was already throwing things away while Eve started on the dishes, the anger and failure of baking already forgotten at the prospect of going out.

**

_I've got loads of pictures yeah  
I've got the one of you in that dancin' dress_

The music played softly in the background as she typed her nightly report, already in her boxers and camisole for the night. Dinner had been nice, had relaxed them both. Eve admitted she was slowly forgetting this was a job and the lines to professionalism blurred for her. Having made Oksana smile that evening had made her feel good. The girl sitting across from her had basked in the night out, enjoying their kind of romantic meal immensely and at some point reached over the table to hold Eve’s hand. It had felt so normal and so good.

Her mind kept mulling things over, their night in the hotel, how soft Oksana was for her here, how needy for touch she seemed. And Eve had no idea how to behave. She wanted so many things that, in the light of this work seemed wrong, but her body yearned for the younger woman and her being all cute and content when they went out, cuddling up to Eve in the back of the cab like they had never done anything else, had painfully made Eve aware of it.

Rolling her shoulders, Eve decided it was time to call it a night. As she stepped into the living room where she was still sleeping, she found Oksana rolled up on the couch, hair splayed and eyes closed. That changed as Eve stepped up to the furniture, Hazel eyes blinking open and the young woman sitting up, stretching a bit.

“I thought you said you were tired.”

She noted and sat next to the Blond, smiling when she was immediately used to curl up against.

“Eve...did you know I was not...not normal in the head when you married me?”

It seemed the young woman had questions that she could not let wait any longer and Eve understood what a fundamental question this was. 

“Yes. You had started therapy when we met.”

The art of telling lies was making sure your lies still mirrored some of what really happened because the more you lied the better you needed to be able to remember all the lies. So having started as they met was close to their situation, factually they had just met and Oksana just started therapy.

Oksana’s mind seemed to work over that information, analyzing, trying to make out what it meant.

“Why are you asking?”

“We are married...but...but you rarely get close to me and I wondered if you just realized I...have troubles apparently.”

Said with a scoff because Oksana would not see herself as flawed.  
“I kept distance because I don't want you to feel pressured, O. You are going through a lot and I feared you could feel used or...abused by me. I do miss being close to you but I want to make sure you never feel I am some perverted stranger you can’t remember trying to kiss you or something.”

The words caused an understanding nod and Eve squeezed softly just above the knee to reassure. Oksana being this level of undress was hard enough, the boy shorts and tight tank top left not much to be seen.

_‘God damnit Eve here you are having creepy sex thoughts!’_

“I feel things with you, Eve. I don't understand them but I feel them. I dream of us…”

She blushed at that thought and squeezed Oksana with the arm around her shoulders.  
She had a feeling there was more to Oksana than being ASPD. It was not black and white, the new Shrink had said so herself and maybe there was more to Oksana and she had been misdiagnosed her whole life.

When Eve turned to say something she found her companion leaning in and her heart started beating madly. Oksana wanted to kiss her and she had been briefed about this privately by Carolyn. She had been chosen because she had slept with Oksana before and they believed she would make the best undercover wife. She was, in a low voice, told that the Russian does not think she is pushing her away. She had blistered then, asked if the crown was whoring her out. 

_“Don't be ridiculous, Eve, the crown has no idea what is going on here.”_

“Please…”

The blonde begged and Eve’s heart threatened to jump out of her chest as she closed the space between them, kissing the supple lips of her ‘wife’. This felt so different from their night before. Oksana whimpered against her lips and after the first tentative moves, took initiative and almost bowled Eve over eagerly. Eve laughed before she was left to moan as the lithe body pressed against her in all the right places.

Her own body was a traitor but she understood this was far from a job and that was what made being close to her 'wife' so dangerous.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, liking and commenting!!1


	4. Chapter 4

When Eve made it downstairs the next morning, simply in her sleep boxers and a very wide pullover, she found Oksana dancing and singing, very off tune in the kitchen, stirring in a pan and checking on the toast. The Korean watched for long seconds, feeling something inside of her grow as she saw the sheer happiness on the girl's face.

After their make out session Oksana asked Eve to please sleep in the bed again. She had agreed and even though nothing more but kissing and cuddling had happened, Eve had slept well for the first time since this started.

She had woken to the divine smells coming from the kitchen and had quickly cleaned up before trudging down. The image in front of her really fought her bad morning mood and she finally stepped fully around the corner, basking in the wide smile and light blush blooming on the Blondes face.

“Hey early bird. Mhh something smells really good”

Eve said and went around the Island to peck the girls cheek, checking what was inside the pan.

“Morning and thank you. I made you scrambled, toast and some sausage.”

“Thanks, O. I’ll pour the coffee.”

They had settled in routines and Eve enjoyed it more than she should, Breakfast was mostly spent reading the newspaper while eating and today she had time to enjoy it as it was saturday and she had to be nowhere. Oksana had some ideas about that apparently and once they were mostly done with their meal, she sauntered over to Eve, perching herself on Eve’s lap and smiling down when the older woman's arms instinctively went around her.

“Okay...what do you want?”

Eve muttered with a grin at the blondes reacting frown.

“Why would I immediately want something from you, Eve?”

Head cocked and eyebrow raised, Eve made it clear she knew.

“Okay! Fine! Can we go to the lake?”

Just outside the village in a small forest was a clear lake used as a summer bathing spot. Eve wasn't much of a swimmer. She could, but she did not enjoy it. But hazel eyes looked at her pleadingly.

“A few hours won’t hurt I think.”

Oksana pecked her lips happily and immediately went to action, happily babbling that she would pack them some snacks and they’d enjoy the sun. Eve barely heard, telling herself she was getting way too close, she was supposed to be professional, this was a job. But the way she tingled all over when Oksana kissed her, said something else.

**

Their day at the lake had been uneventful really. Eve read and tanned and was even talked into taking a little swim, which was more of an excuse for her ‘wife’ to get touchy. No one but them was there and in a way it was serene. Eve was mulling over reconciling her feelings for Oksana, pouring them both a glass of wine.

“Hey Eve...why is there a note on the back of the picture frame?”

Her heart stopped, hands getting clammy. Note? Had they forgotten to clean up some of their memory notes?

“What do you mean?”

Oksana came around the corner, frowning down at the frame in her hand.

“Eve & Oksana, 2018 London Mi5 Christmas, 6 months together.”

Her mind was going a mile a minute as she tried to find the reason why such a note would be on a picture. The deepfake of them at some Christmas party in a pub was eerily realistic and Eve’s mind set to an explanation. 

She laughed. Oksana’s frown deepened.

“Oh my god! I can not believe he did this. We got this from my colleague Kenny, he works here too now. Back then we kept arguing how long we had been together, the whole night you said 6 months and I said 7. We had an almost argument and for Christmas, Kenny gave us this. It’s his handwriting he….well you were right, O. He always liked you better.”

Eve kept staring down and the picture, making herself look wistful.

“You looked breathtaking.”

“I always do…”

Raised eyebrow caused a shrug from the blonde which said: well what I am.

“You dress up nicely too…”

“Well thank you! I am actually sure this outfit was on you….”

Oksana took the picture and Eve could see how she tried desperately to remember anything. Tears of frustration flooded her eyes and Eve squeezed her arm. She felt sorry, guilty and only half shocked just how well she lied.

“Don't force it.”

The picture was suddenly flung through the air towards the kitchen, crashing with a sickening crunch.

“That’s so easy for you to say!”

Oksana yelled, face flushed red with anger.

“Fuck that, Eve! Fuck your sentiments! Fuck your memories! Why is it always me having nothing? I have no family! I have no friends! I have no job, no money, no hobbies, I have no fucking memories of anything! It's as if I never fucking existed! So don't tell me what to feel! You have no right!”

The girl heaved deep breathes in anger and it felt like she was chaos reborn in their home, a large mass of hateful energy waiting to go into entropy and tear them both down.

“We are in the middle of nowhere I am bored and alone all day why you go off on that stupid job! There is nothing here to do but try to find a memory all day and I am tired of it! I am tired of this all!”

A large swipe with her arm and the closest bookcase board was emptied before Oksana stormed off, slamming the doors as she went and leaving behind a shocked Eve.

“Shit…”

She muttered as she saw all the things on the floor, feeling routed to the spot.

**

_’Got her phone she’s at the pub.’_

Kenny’s message made the phone chirp and Eve had just hung up on the landline. 

_’Thanks Kenny! Sam just called me too’_  


She grabbed her coat and basically flew out the front door. The drive to the pub was done in record time and when Eve entered, Sam, the barman, nodded at her. He too was an ex Mi5 employee and informed this was a witness protection case.

“Thanks for calling me Sam.”

“Had too. She has no money…”

Eve put a 5 on the bar and after a shake of Sam's head she added another 10 before walking to the dark corner where Oksana sat, staring at the opposite wall and nursing a drink.

“Paid your tab.”

Eyes did not even move to her as she slid into the chair across. A quick look around and Eve saw they were mostly alone in the pub even though it was saturday, it was not 6 pm yet and she knew around 8 people would filter in.

“I will never remember. I will always be the woman that does not remember her past and has to trust on others to fill the blanks. I can't even remember how we met, how we dated, married.”

She wanted so badly to reach out to this woman and tell her, help her remember. Eve felt like a monster treating the girl like this. Someone that was so sweet to her. But then she only was because people told her that was who she was. Oksana as Sasha had been different. Sure and full of confidence. Larger than life really.

“Do you still feel for me, O?”

Hazel eyes flitted to her and the nod was swift.

“That’s probably the only thing I am sure of Eve.”

“Then we have that. And we can make new memories.”

An unsure shrug and Oksana’s fingertip followed the condensation on the glass.

“I feel like I am not myself. Like I am not complete.”

She looked so downtrodden that Eve just wanted to engulf her in her arms and hug her, knowing that actually she was actively doing this to her, hurting her further and something inside of Eve ached. She had no idea what Oksana had done to get in trouble, all she knew was she felt she wanted her to stop hurting.

“You can always ask me for memories, O. And the other stuff, we’ll figure it out.”  
This time the blonde nodded, albeit slowly.

“You said the accident happened at night. Why was I out so late?”

Eve leaned back in her chair. To an onlooker it seemed as if the memory made her move, instead she was collecting the memory.

“We...had an argument. A bad one. You drove off and there were sheeps on the road. You swerved past the bridge, through the fencing and down.”

She saw eyes close, a shuddery breath taken.

“I dreamed of it. But there is barely anything. Glass breaking, loud sounds of metal deforming.”

Eve worried. If she dreamed of that, what else did she dream off?

“Only that?”

The roguish grin on the blonde's face, made Eve blush hard.

“I dream of us Eve. I dream of how we fuck.”

Ego bolstered, Oksana spoke openly and Eve was relieved not many patrons had made it here and no one had heard. She blushed.

“Have I ever worked Eve?”

“That...was part of our arguments. You worked in fashion stores. But...your temper was sometimes too much. That is why you started therapy. I make good money and we decided that you would go to therapy for a while. That's why we moved. This project pays more.”

“But it made me miserable?”

Eve nodded.

“I will ask to work more from home. And maybe we can take some weekend trips.”

Delicate long fingers reached over the table to grasp hers. 

**

“How much longer are you making me keep up the charade! You...we….I am hurting her! She is desperate to remember!”  
Carolyn and Konstantin looked at her in the meeting room, then konstantin looked at Carolyn, gauging her reaction.

“We are working on it. The whole thing...is quite a mess.”

“Fuck messes! There is no reason…”

“As you do not understand the situation, Eve, I would rather you not make assessments on my work.”

Carolyn said coolly.

“You don't understand! She can not deal mentally with being cooped up here doing nothing.”

The older woman leaned back in her chair.

“Then I advise you better find something to occupy her. I heard she is rather virile…”

Eve blistered and Konstantin looked almost guilty.

“Have you no feelings for your friend?”

She asked the older man whose shoulders dropped.

“I do...that is why we do this. Because I do.”

She stood in a fury.

“I will hand in travel notices for the two of us. I need to get her out of here sometimes as her therapist has surely told you.”

With that she left and decided to go home and not stay her mandatory two hours in the office.

Oksana had wanted to try her hand at gardening so they had gone in the morning and driven to a garden store, buying flowers and herbs and tools. Eve hoped that it had occupied the girl some.

“Eve! You are home already!”

The exuberance and happiness made Eve happy instantly and she smiled seeing Oksana in one of the two chairs out in their garden, sipping a coffee.

“Yea...I thought I’d rather spend the day with you than cooped up in the office.”  
She smiled and leaned down to peck the soft lips, smiling and stroking a tendril of blonde hair, which had slipped the messy bun, behind her ‘wifes’ ear.

“Hey pretty.”

The rosy tint to Oksana’s cheeks made Eve lean in and kiss her deeply.

“Eve…”

Besides sounding like a protest, Oksana did lean in for closer contact and Eve framed her dear face with her hands and kneeled next to the chair, feeling like she was burning up.

“Want me to stop…?”

A grunt and hands grabbed her upper arms, making sure she could not pull away.

“Please….”

“Please what?”

More kisses and then Eve pressed her tongue into a warm and willing mouth, Oksana's fingers flexing on her biceps.

“I want you so badly...I wanted you for days...I dream of you at night and wake soaked….please...please…”

The blonde mumbled between needy kisses.  
It was Eve’s turn to groan at those heavy weighing words but she stopped thinking altogether. Who cared about them anyways, certainly not her employers or Oksana’s friend.

“Bedroom! Now!”

She ordered and wondered where that commanding tone had come from. Alas Eve could care less as she dragged her wife towards the house and then upstairs determined.  
As soon as they stumbled into the master bedroom, Oksana’s nimble fingers already unbuttoning the black blouse, Eve felt a bit out of her element, only going on instinct.

And then she prayed that it did not show as she sank to her knees in front of Oksana sitting on the bed and pushing the sundress up to reveal creamy thighs and soaked panties. Her jaw dropped a little and she watched mesmerized as Oksana's nimble fingers stroked herself through her panties.

“Eve…”

Her hand joined and together they stroked while Eve leaned up to capture the Blondes lips again.

“Say it…”

It was Oksana’s turn to moan as Eve’s fingered pushed panties aside while standing and pushing the body back on the bed. They half laid and Eve tried to remember the night in Berlin as she pressed her thigh between Oksana’s legs making her shudder and moan as they kissed hungrily.

“I am happy….you are home early.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, liking and commenting!


	5. Chapter 5

_”She's gonna save me call me baby  
run her hands through my hair  
She'll know me crazy,  
soothe me daily, but yet she wouldn't care”_

Eve decided, Oksana bent taut through orgasm, back looking close to snap and yelling for gods they both did not believe in, while Eve drove their strap on into her with quick snaps of her hips, was the view she could die for.

Currently, said wife was laying in the middle of the bed, naked and completely out of breath, shuddering from time to time as Eve, still buried deep, kissed her shoulder and chest in a soothing manner, her arms shaking from holding herself prone above that beautiful mess.

“Hey…”

Hazel eyes blinked open, pupils blown. The girl was simply breathtaking in this moment and Eve’s lips felt a pull like a magnet. The long legs around her hip fell down limply and she took it as a sign, slowly pulling out, pecking whimpering lips as on hand deftly got rid of the toy. Once done, the Korean rolled them, pulling Oksana into her arms.

“Oh...god…Evie...”

Softly she stroked Oksana’s back to soothe her further. Eve was elated at being so pleasing to someone. Frankly with Niko sex had been...well a meeting in a way. It was planned, shuffled, cancelt, redone. Nothing was new.  
When she had met Oksana in Berlin, the wild girl had shown her a side of sex she had craved since she was a youg adult. Now after they had breached this thing a week ago, it seemed they were insatiable. 

Eve pushed negative thoughts about all of this to the back of her mind, ignoring it for the sake of her sanity. What she was doing was wrong and dangerous. She had Oksana now but one day the assignment would end and Eve feared it. She did not want to let this go and as she spent more time in the arms of her young lover, Eve knew she was almost incapable to let go.

“I haven't even thanked you for the little weekend trip to Edinburgh…”

Oksana whispered against her neck.

“You don’t need to.”

Teeth scraped her skin below her ear, making her shudder as she felt Oksana’s leg push insistently between hers. 

“Mhhh...maybe I want to though.”

Eve was about to pull Oksana down into a bruising kiss when the alarm rang and her mind rattled trying to remember why she set one.

“Shit...we will miss the Pub BBQ event if we don't start getting dressed.”

Oksana looked like she was not convinced she wanted to go any longer.

“Evie…”

“Oh no! You wanted to go, we promised Kenny and remember the nice outfit we got you for it.”

That seemed to make Oksana move, albeit frowning.  
Eve had made sure to make the Mi6 account bleed in Edinburgh, needing to punish Carolyn and Konstantin for what they were doing to them. So Eve had spent frivolous amounts of money on her young, pretty wife who was glowing in happiness.

“Will you wear the things I got you, Eve?”

Oksana had not been deterred from getting her things too and she had allowed it, basking in the girl's happiness.

“Sure.”

**

“Konstantin was pretty pissed about your spending his money.”

Kenny said, standing to the side with Eve and watching as Oksana was being taught boule by some older villagers.

“It was his?”

“Carolyn called it your Hazard pay. You both look,...”

“Like what, Kenny?”

Before the young man could answer stammering, Elena handed him a beer.

“Like you have spent half the day banging.”

While Eve blushed a deep red, Kenny stuttered almost choking on his beer. 

"I wanted to say rich, but thanks El…." 

A shrug from her friend and Elena wagged her eyebrows at Eve. 

"She's not denying it though!"

"Oh stop it you two!" 

She felt a flush creep up her neck as her mind replayed their latest little tryst and Eve wanted to groan knowing Elena would see right through her and start a barrage… 

"I get it! I bet she's hot in bed I mean look at her." 

And all three turned, finding themselves watching Oksana being accidentally spritzed with a water gun by a kid as they went by. Eves mind knew this couldn't end well but she was glued to the ground as she watched Oksana take the water gun from another child, stomping after the perpetrator who now looked scared shitless walking backwards, then shooting him dead center on the forehead, the drenched youngster too shocked to even cry. From that distance it was rather shocking how accurate Oksana's aim was. 

"Fuck! I need to go before she drowns the kid…" 

Quick steps as she prayed the kids' parents had not seen, grabbing the water gun from Oksana and putting it on a nearby table. 

"Come on babe… It was just an accident, let's grab you another glass of wine." 

Oksana followed willingly, sticking her tongue out at the kid in parting before letting herself be dragged inside by Eve. 

"I am not sorry!" 

Eve wondered who was the kid in the scenario she had witnessed but at least she had diffused the situation before it had escalated. 

"Just try to not drown a kid! It is usually frowned upon." 

"Are you angry?" 

The question sounded almost meek and Eve made sure she didn't look annoyed as she turned to her wife and shook her head. 

"Nothing bad happened okay. I know you got angry."

The blonde looked at the wet spot on her new pants. 

"It's luckily just water, O."

The Blonde still looked almost sadly down at the spot before Eve pecked her cheek softly and handed her the wine. 

“Now at least that little…’Episode’ saved me from Elena dissecting my sex life. Let it go babe, let's enjoy the BBQ.”

She had slowly learned how to calm down Oksana when her mood escalated, softly stroking arms and keeping close contact. The girl leaned into her and then nodded, reassured that Eve was not angry.

The rest of the night Oksana stayed rather close to her, bantering back and forth with Elena which relieved Eve mostly since Oksana did not easily fall into friendly chatter with people besides her. Also Elena did not bring up their sex life again, a bit more cautious around the young blonde. 

**

Oksana was giddy with excitement as she waited for Eve to come home to their extented weekend. She had planned this the past days and wanted everything to be perfect. 

It had to be perfect. Eve deserved perfect and Oksana would never settle for anything less.

She rechecked that she had packed all they needed and then turned up the music in the living room, dancing to the happy tune. 

Her last session with Dr. Bowers had been okay. Oksana understood a lot more about herself. Fact was, there was no cure. She was who she was. She could suppress it, was taught how to control it but she also only did so for Eve. Eve who loved her besides what society saw as a flaw. Oksana felt it was not. She was Confident so what? What was so bad about knowing you were amazing and expressing it? Or not letting anyone treat her badly? Wexler had been an asshole to her and he had deserved nothing.  
Bowers was more accepting in her boundaries. She let Oksana decide what to talk about, encouraged her to explore emotions, try to define them herself.  
She still had no memories back besides the crash and having had phenomenal sex with Eve, she certainly remembered that, Eve confirming that the memory was real of a. Very passionate night in a hotel. 

Bowers had asked her if she even tried anymore to remember and Oksana admitted that after Eve had reassured her that they would make new memories, it had mattered less. 

Oksana found herself in their bedroom once more, carry on open and fingerling the white suit she had ordered. It wasn't super expensive but she had liked the cut and it would not be on her for long. Neither would be the dress she had gotten Eve. 

Eve was right, they had to make new memories. Who cared for old anyways? As much she had been told she had been born in the most boring country and worked herself up towards a better life, so why hold on to a past she hated so much that she had always refused talking about it? 

"Jesus babe… I could hear the music out on the street." 

Her grin widened and heart fluttered with happiness when she heard Eve's voice yelling up. She closed their carryon and happily dragged it downstairs. 

"What has you so happy… oh, you already packed?" 

Eve said and watched as Oksana happily bound towards her. 

"Yes! I want to leave straight away so that we have more time at the spa together." 

Her arms flung around Eve's neck, her wild and happy energy making the korean grin herself. 

"Well who am I to deny you, mh?" 

Oksana's large hazel eyes sparkled with unadultered joy and she leaned in kissing her wife. 

"I love you, Eve." 

She meant it. She understood that people said psychopaths can't love but bowers had assured her that this was not so easy to just say and decide. While she admitted she did not care when shown pictures of suffering individuals, she cared for how Eve thought of her. She wanted to make Eve smile and know she did that. 

Bowers had started conversation into her being a sociopath instead and seeing as any memory of her past was gone and even before she had refused to speak of it, maybe she had been normal at some point but her past had ruined her. 

Bowers at least did not put her into a corner but promised her to find ways to deal. 

Eve made her feel things. Eve made her feel alive and understood and accepted and wanted. Eve had not left her even though she was told she wasn't right in the head. Eve accepted her quirks and tried to help. Eve was all she cared about and who else really mattered? 

"I love you too babe. Well since you already packed let me just freshen up and then we can hit the road."

"Oh Evie do you need help with the freshening up? I'll wash your back.." 

The cute snort that Eve gave her made Oksana preen happily about her ability to please her wife. 

"No, we'll never get going if you help. Also I know your version of help and it's rather time consuming…"

**

"Hey, O…you look like the cat that got the cream…." 

Eve grinned as she walked into the garden of the spa finding a table beautifully set. Oksana had told her to wear the dress she had gotten her and meet her out and Eve knew she probably had a dinner planned for them. She had been reminded by Kenny it was supposed to be their anniversary days before and had gotten a little present of course, which sat nestled, sparkling in the valley between Oksana's breasts. 

Konstantin had sputtered when she had shown Kenny the necklace but Eve had simply shot him one look and shut him up.  
He paid for the way he treated Oksana. 

Now Oksana reached for her hands, kissing them both before drawing Eve in. Tonight was the reason she had asked Eve if they could also stay for Monday. She had big plans for them and was sure she would spend a very long night not concerning with sleep. 

"You look so beautiful, Evie." 

The older woman's blush made her proud to have achieved it. 

"You look breathtaking yourself." 

Another deep kiss before Eve watch oksana grab something from her blazer pocket and then Eve's eyes bulged as the little box revealed two wedding bands. 

"Oksana…?" 

"Happy anniversary, Evie." 

Oksana husked into her wife's ear. A cough behind them made them jolt apart but Oksana grinned happily as she pulled Eve towards the woman having turned up in the garden and now waiting for them. 

Eve looked up at her confused but Oksana grinned. 

"You said we should make new memories. I can not remember our marriage so… I thought we could do a vow renewal. I saw it on the telly and thought I wanted to do that for our anniversary."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well Oksana sure as heck surprised Eve with that.
> 
> You guys know me... It can only get worse.


	6. Chapter 6

Elena almost dropped her cup of tea, staring at her very flustered friend, who was currently asking her if she could look up the legality of her marriage status. 

"Eve…" 

Said woman plopped back down into her office chair and held her hand out, new titanium wedding band on it. 

"Oksana saved all her money from the disability checks and set up a vow renewal for our ‘anniversary’."

She seemed in such an odd mood, not angry or happy. Something completely flustered and confused. 

"Tell me Eve, am I asking legal because you DON'T want it to be a real marriage or because you DO want it to be?" 

"Oh fuck off, El!" 

For some reason they both broke out in giggles but Eve's suddenly turned and Elena was shocked to find her sobbing. Her arms immediately went around her colleague.

"shit….shit ...fuck.."

Eve mumbled. 

"Eve, the fuck is going on?" 

Brown eyes checked if they were alone before Eve wiped her tears almost clumsily. 

“I am...I shouldn't...but I do. And I didnt want that, but I actually…”

She stopped, breath hitching.

“I am falling for her.”

“Well, shit. Eve...”

Eve leaned back in her chair, staring at the ceiling and blinking rapidly against the tears.

Things never turned out to be just simple for her. Nope, Eve had to have the worst kind of relationships. The marriage to Niko crippled her mentaly and Oksana...well apparently she was some kind of spy or something and how could that ever work if Oksana did not hate her after regaining her memory.

“I just...can not help it, El.”

Her friend's eyes were tender and understanding, a hand reached out to squeeze her knee comfortingly.

“Eve...you have to tell Carolyn to pull you.”

They both knew that would never happen. She was in too deep and pulling her would end it all.

“I don't think she cares.”

There was no out for Eve and she knew this would end badly, feared the day.

“I have to go, I am late already…”

Eve’s mind was heavy with so many emotions ranging from her feelings for oksana to guilt, to being scared of what was coming. She wished they could just vanish and live in their little bubble of love forever. She went through the motions of her day knowing Oksana felt something was on her mind by the way the young woman reached for her in passing, looked at her  
confused and tried to gauge her emotions. She hid in her office until dinner and even then she was mostly silent, excusing her mood with having had a rather bad day in the office, as she dropped a kiss on Oksana’s forehead, thanking her for dinner.

Her heart squeezed when she saw the hurt behind hazel eyes and she knew she was being an asshole to someone who had done nothing to cause this.

By nightfall Eve was emotionally exhausted from her mind going in circles around her situation and she went through her night routine with her mind in a stupor. 

“Eve...did I do something? You are so distant today. I have been behaving well lately…”

The whisper cut through the dark of their bedroom and Eve felt the lump form in her throat as she turned facing her wife.

“No, O. You did not do anything! I just had a super rough day and can't tell you about it because it's top secret. I am sorry if my mood hurt you. I know it’s not fair on you.”

On them. Nothing of this was. How was she ever supposed to go back to her old life after this? How could she ever not miss their little house, their little sanctuary, their feelings?  
Her hand reached out to stroke a soft cheek.

“I am sorry for being such an ass. You deserve better from me.”

Oksana leaned into her touch and shuffled closer

“Yes I do.”

And there was self assured Oksana again, making Eve smirk lopsided before she leaned in and kissed the Blonde tenderly.

“Forgive me?”

Eve mumbled against Oksana’s lips, her hand landing on the curvy hip of her wife, feeling the lace knickers there as she pulled the younger woman closer, her lips slowly starting their path down a strong jawline, a neck with veins pumping in excitement.

A phone rang downstairs and Eve cursed under her breath. 

“Really?! At….10 pm?”

Angrily she pushed the blankets aside, stomping downstairs. The last thing she heard was Oksana’s groan of annoyment.  
Down she went to the phone, which she had left in her little office, huffing at not having silenced it, vowing she would the next time. 

“WHAT?”

She said loudly but was met with the beep of the other caller having hung up.

“Oh fuck you…”

Anger cursed through her as she silenced the phone and then made her way angrily back to the dark hallway, vowing to find out the next morning who called at such ungodly hours.  
When she stepped into the hall it wasn't as dark as it had been before and her heart started to race in her chest as she noticed the front door wide open.

“OKSANA RUN! INTRUDER! RUN! RUN!”

She yelled like a banshee, her mind suddenly blank on anything else but protecting the girl upstairs, scrambling to remember the security protocol. She turned on her heel to make her way to her office and to the panic button, her bare feet carrying through the hallway, eyes and mind on reaching the office, getting to that button.

Pain exploded in her forehead as something hard connected with it and the last thing she registered was feeling as if her body had been tossed. Then everything went dark.

Upstairs Oksana had heard the yells and had jumped out of their bed panicking at hearing her wife yell, panicking because she had no idea what to do, panicking because she could not hear Eve after her yells. Fear exploded in her, making her breath harshly and her heart beat frantically in her ribcage. 

She wanted to yell for Eve but fear glued her lips shut as she went into their ensuite bathroom and grabbed the first thing she could find, a long pair of scissors from the cabinet above the sink. She trembled as she slinked out of the room again, trying to keep herself from making any sound to alert whoever was in the house.

She had to make her way down and find Eve, find a phone. Oksana knew she could not stay upstairs with tiny rooms and hallways where she would not be able to escape if needed. Her blood pumped viciously and she felt like she would faint from the stress, hand clammy as it clutched the scissors.

The lowest stair step for once did not creak as she stepped on it, Oksana drawing hopefully calming breaths through her nose as she crept towards the kitchen, hoping to find Eve just searching for something. Maybe there was no intruder. She wondered if she should call out. But something inside of her told her to not give herself away. Her foot stepped into something warm and liquid, eyes shooting down to the dark spot, heart sinking as she realized it was blood. 

She wanted to whimper but bit her lip, sharply, to stop herself as she moved further into the dark house and to the kitchen. There on the ground lay Eve, sprawled curly black locks like a halo on the floor. Oksana fell to her knee’s next to her wife, finding her with an open wound on her forehead bleeding. As she reached towards her unconscious wife, something alerted her to someone behind her and on instinct she could not explain at that moment, the hand with the scissor flew back expertly, as if steered by muscle memory, the sharp tool sinking into something, warm fluid immediately spilling over her hand.

She pulled, felt the spray, smelled the blood. Pupils widened, heart beat slowed and She stood, turning slowly as her ears seemed to drown out all unneeded sound for the moment. The man behind her held his thigh, wound gushing wild amounts of blood and Oksana stilled, mind blank before everything seemed to rush over her like tidal waves.

**

Eve slowly felt herself wake, pain sliced through her as she tried to push herself to wake, knowing she had to, they were in danger. Oksana was in danger!  
As she came to, she felt herself laying in a sticky wetness, the room drenched in irony smell. Sickness made her stomach clench as bile rose in her throat, tears slipping through her clenched closed eyes as she feared waking to Oksana dead.

She rolled to her side fearing she would puke only to open her eyes and finding herself in a pool of blood. Another wave of sickness and Eve shakily tried to get out of the spot in the kitchen, hand blindly trying to push her body. It connected with something and Eve’s eyes ripped open, blearily, making out the body of the bald intruder that had attacked her. His green eyes stared at her emptily. The source of the large amounts of blood was, as Eve surmised, the large cut on his neck from right ear to left, Scissors still sticking out one ear.

“Oh my god...Oksana…”

She scrambled, heaving through her sickness, crawling out of the kitchen and around the Island counter. The light in the living room was on and on the couch, half fallen off it laid another burly guy with the gun in his mouth. His brain had left a bloody grey pattern across their photo wall.

She collapsed on shaking arms, falling to the floor, her skull feeling like it was splitting.  
From that point she saw naked feet walk into the room, towards the couch and relieve flooded her.

“...oh god...thank god...you’re alive…”

She whimpered trying to turn her head so she could see the blonde. She blinked the blood out of them so she could focus, finding a blood drenched Oksana taking their wedding picture off the wall.

“We need to….get out. We need to run. You aren’t safe! Please help me up!”

Her wife turned but that face, those eyes weren’t that of Oksana. Something inside of Eve was cold as a blonde head cocked and watched her try to scramble up. Then the girl sprang into action, softly setting the photo down before she knelt next to Eve. helping her up.

“Oh my ...wait dear...let me help!”

The hands first went to her upper arms, softly helping Eve to sit. Then bloody hands squeezed her shoulders, eyes tenderly took her in, concerned maybe.  
Those soft hands stroked up her neck, slowly massaging, slowly encasing her neck.

“Oksana…”

“My beautiful wife.”

Was uttered back in thick russian and the tender hands around her neck slowly increased their pressure, Eve feeling the blood having trouble to travel through her veins there.

“My beautiful little liar.”

“O…”

The pressure became oppressive and hazel eyes grew ice cold brown eyes in turn growing scared.

Villanelle clucked her tongue as she watched Eve blindly, shakily, try to reach for the hands around that beautiful neck. Oh, what a neck it was! And what hair. She had loved it back in Berlin. It had been what had made her so enamoured with the stranger in the club. Oh how she loved a wild head of dark hair!

Gosh what a pretty wife she had! Villanelle was sure she would be even more stunning without being drenched in blood. It kind of made it impossible to see the color change on the womans face as Villanelle’s long fingers upped the pressure with each second.

She clucked her tongue as she felt nails scratch at her arms.

“Shhh…..my lovely, lying wife! Let me help, mhh? I’ll make the pain stop, baby!”

She squeezed and squeezed, feeling veins under her hands swell, watching pupils grow wide with panic. Legs started weakly kicking and Villanelle was growing rather tired and annoyed by this. She told herself to just snap that pretty neck and end this folly.

“Please...run...away.”

She was confused. Why would Eve not beg for her life with the last words able to utter and why would her hands simply not tighten further? Why would they simply not finish the job and squeeze the life out of this lying bitch named Eve. She ordered her hands to do it but they would not and she yelled in anger.

The woman had stopped fighting her and was just staring up at her with those chocolate brown eyes, brows drawn as Oksana had no control over her anger, wanting to shake her until her flimsy neck broke and finding herself unable to. Those damn brown eyes. 

“YOU LIED TO ME! YOU LIED! IT WAS ALL A LIE!”

Oksana screamed and pushed Eve back with force, the woman slumping in front of her. Villanelle shook with rage, hands clenched in anger.

“Please...you need...to hide. They are...after you Oksana! That's why I hid you! Someone is after you.”

Eve’s head lolled on her shoulders, the forehead wounds bleeding renewed. Villanelle wanted to hate this little fragile thing with all her being. She wanted to! But Oksana inside was still too fresh and raw. She had been betrayed and used once more. She was always used.

She went to the kitchen and grabbed a kitchen towel before she went back to...her wife, staring down and wondering how she could have done this to her.

“Who...ordered you?”

She forced out between clenched teeth.

“You need to go...run…”

She knelt and pressed the towel on the wound to stem the bleeding, hating the turmoil she found herself in, one she had never faced before. What was wrong with her? What had they done to her. What had Eve done?

A bloody hand grabbed hers, worried brown eyes catching hers.

“I am sorry, O…”

The stress, blood loss and choking apparently had taken their toll on Eve as she slumped unconscious and worry sliced through Villanelle unbidden as she slowly laid the woman down, stroking blood caked hair from that dear face she had been told she loved and securing the tea towel around the large head wound.

She grabbed the gun from the guy on the couch and walked to Eve, aiming it with shaking hands. She would kill her! She would punish Eve for lying and using her. She would do it!

She could do it!  
She cocked the safety, cursing her stupid, fucking eyes suddenly growing wed and stinging.

She put her trigger finger in the perfect spot to shoot.  
Telling herself that Villanelle needed to do this. Nobody did such shit to her and lived to tell the tale.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There it is. Don't hit me.


	7. Chapter 7

She cried for two or three days, time blurry to her. Villanelle had locked herself in a hotel room and cried like a stupid, weak child. It had overcome her after the memories had come back, after leaving Eve on the ground bleeding, unable to shoot her. She had taken their car and left, feeling hollow and when she had finally stopped driving, Villanelle had checked herself into a hotel that offered acceptable room service, locked herself in and started this leaky shit. 

"You used to be beautiful…now look what Eve did to you! fucking Eve." 

Villanelle said, staring at her blotchy face in the bathroom mirror. 

Eve with her beautiful hair. Eve who looked at her so tenderly. Eve who had treated her normal. 

Eve was a fucking liar. 

Fresh tears rolled down her cheeks and her arm swept the counter clean, soap and Glas crashing to the ground as her body stiffened and convulsed with anger.   
Anger at herself for being broken like this, anger at what Eve had done to her. The lies. 

She sobbed and sunk to her knees. 

She hurt because she missed what Oksana had and she would never be able to have. She missed the home, the wife that returned to her even when she made mistakes. A lover that truly cared for her, that wanted to know how she felt, wanted to make her feel better. 

She hurt because she missed her home. A home that had been a lie.

Dragging herself back to bed, Villanelle slumped on top of the covers, burying her tear stained face under the pillows and deciding she needed a few more days of wallowing in this. 

Why had they done this to her? How could they? Did they think she felt nothing? No, to Konstantin she was a weapon. She needed to kill that was all he cared about. He gave her whatever she wanted as long as she did his bidding. She was very sure he was behind all this, and remembered a bit of the last night in Berlin. She had pretended to be a taxi driver, ready to kill her target. He had already been in the car, none the wiser, when he had received a warning call and all had gone to shit. Someone had known their plans, someone had ratted them out.

She was pathetic, Villanelle thought, remembering just an hour ago when she had picked up the phone and called her fake home phone number. The line was already disconnected and she had no idea what she had thought to achieve. Another weak moment, just after she had rifled through her duffel for fresh clothes and seeing the pictures she had grabbed for some reason from her fake home. Pictures of her fake marriage to a fake wife. Pictures that cut so deep and still she had needed to take them. 

Villanelle thought how stupid it was, that she could get everything she ever wished for with her money, but not that. 

**

When it rains, it pours.

That's what her mother had always said and sitting in her desolate London apartment, watching the torrents of rain run down her window, Eve had remembered the sentiment. She took another sip from her tea, grimacing at the feeling from her throat. 

The bruises were slowly fading, reminding her each day about Oksana choking her. She had not killed her though. After she came to she found herself in the fake office, the house being cleared out, the office being packed up. Carolyn had simply informed her her job was done and she was let go. That had been it. No job with Mi5, none with Mi6 and Oksana was gone. 

Oksana

Her heart squeezed painfully and she felt fresh tears threaten to spill as she thought of her and she scoffed, realizing she had never felt that kind of despair over the whole divorce thing. She was a fucking idiot. A fool in love that had not even taken off the wedding band. Could not bring herself to it even though the marriage was a sham. 

The tea was clumsily put back onto the coffee table before Eve sunk into the lumpy couch her ex had left her with, rolling up and simply letting the tears roll. No one was here to criticise her for it anyways. She closed her eyes and Oksana’s face was there instantly, that soft smile, those eyes sparkling with happiness when they were together. But then the face changed into the grimace of that woman that had killed contract killers in their home then tried to choke her.  
She lost all feeling for time and before she knew it, darkness had fallen over London. 

Blinking, Eve tried to sit up-, unsure why she had woken, eyes and cheeks burning. Then the ringing of her phone reached her brain and she grabbed it without thinking. 

“ ello?”

“We need you back. You will be picked up tomorrow at 9am sharp.”

Carolyn's stiff voice announced, no nonsense tone and hanging up before she could say anything.

The phone crashed into the wall but at least she tried to dispatch it close to where the handheld station was sitting on a little side table.

For some reason her stupid heart suddenly thought that maybe Oksana was back asking for her. Then Eve realized how stupid that thought was before sinking sadly back into the couch and setting an alarm on her phone. 

The following morning went by in a blur and Eve simply went through the motions without registering much of that morning. She was torn between somehow being back and maybe seeing Oksana again and wanting to strangle Carolyn for doing this to her in the first place. 

She was so caught in her turmoiled thoughts that she did not register the way to work or where she was until she was at the door of another secret office in the midst of London. The city was already bustling but this non descriptive dark and trashed alley seemed to be disregarded by commuters. 

The door sprung open after she said her name and soon she found herself in a kind of office space that smelt strange. Kenny and El greeted her softly, Elena's eyes. Glued to her neck, bruises hidden under a turtleneck. 

"Hey Eve… how are you holding up babe?" 

Elena asked softly. 

She knew it was genuine concern but Eve felt herself bristling but before she could give a harsh answer, Eve felt a hand squeezing her shoulder. 

"Eve."

Bill's voice soothed her and she turned to him, feeling close to tears again. She had not been able to speak to him since her job had been top secret but now he was here and she could finally cry on her best friend's shoulder. 

"Let's have some breakfast after ok?"

She nodded softly and swallowed around the lump in her throat. 

**

"Come out of the bathroom, Villanelle." 

The booming voice of Konstantin rang through the door and Villanelle found herself unable to deny this time, was tired of fighting and thus stepped out as ordered, facing Konstantin, the only kind of constant person in her life, blotchy face and slumped shoulders.

His stern face softened as he regarded her. 

"I hate you." 

It was muttered without strength. 

"For what? Keeping you safe and hidden after I had no idea how the 12 could warn your target? After trying to find out how they always seem to be able to cross our plans?" 

Her head tilted up, looking at him annoyed. 

He knew exactly what she meant. 

"Someone somewhere knows and I have no idea who it is. You need to hide away Oksana, in a way they can not find you. They will find you here the same I found you. It was stupid to call your old land-line. What did you think would happen? That she would answer? You choked her, Villanelle. You shot at her, even though you missed, she saw the bullet holes around her when we got to her."

Her shoulders dropped, then anger returned full force. 

"She lied to me! You all did. Making her pretend she loved me! Forcing me to therapy."

Konstantin sat down at the desk in the corner and shrugged. 

"I could have left you dying in Berlin. I did what I had to to protect you." 

LIES! Stomping to where he sat, Villanelle grabbed Konstantin jacket lapels and shook him. He simply stared back at her and watched her fall apart. 

"I hate you. I hate you and her. I hate her so much!" 

Turning away to hide a fresh set of tears knowing she looked pathetic. 

"Villanelle…" 

"Did...did you tell her about me? Did she know who she was hiding?" 

The deep sigh made her turn back. 

"What does it matter?"

It mattered a lot. But how would he ever understand? Who really knew her? Who really cared?   
Eve had cared. Eve had known about her troubles Oksana yelled. Eve had known and still been nice.   
She had played it! Villanelle snarled back and wanted to destroy something.

“I need you to go hide again. We are trying to find the mole.”

“We?”

Konstantin sighed deeply.

“After Berlin I had to find us some help. I have an old acquaintance in the UK who is rather interested in the 12 and toppling them. I had contacted her when we were planning Berlin…”

And then someone possibly on the UK end gave them away.

“So your contact to this shitplace…”

He bristled and Villanelle knew that friendly handler Konstantin was quickly exchanged by the rough Konstantin who liked force to get his will.

“I will not say it again. I tried to keep us safe. Now we find the mole. You need to stay away and listen to me this time Villanelle!”

**

Kind eyes took Eve in as she sat in the cafe, picking on her croissant and coffee going cold.

“Eve, maybe you should not work on this case?”

Bill said softly. The one friend she truly trusted with anything, even her darkest thoughts. 

“I…”

HIs face went from good natured to concerned.

“No...Eve! You..”

“I just need to…”

“Eve,....are you mad?”

Something inside her squeezed painfully.

“I need to….just one more time Bill. I need to see her. I need to tell her that...that I wasn’t faking things. Deep down under her facade she is...she could not kill me. She tried but …”

“Are you listening to yourself?”

Bill looked at her incredulous and Eve stared right back with brown eyes filled with tears.

“Oh, Eve!”

No one would ever get her like this man. No one would ever be as understanding but guiding as he was.

“I have to tell her.”

Her hands were being squeezed and Bill seemed to nod.

“So you...are trying to find her even though Carolyn wants us to concentrate on finding the mole?”

Eve nodded, then rubbed her face tireldy.

“Well...I’ll cover your back Eve. But I want you to promise me to be cautious around her.”

“Thank you! I promise.”

And they both knew Eve’s promises were always a bit...ambitious.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so so much for reading, commenting and liking you guys rock!


	8. Chapter 8

Realized I should have probably announced it:

Sadly after repeatedly getting rude comments, this time on the other story I was writing on the same time 'Baby Mine', I decided not to go on writing right now.

**Author's Note:**

> Trying something new! Hope you liked and thanks for taking your time and reading!


End file.
